You Become Who You Hang Around With

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A reflection on how your circle shapes your mindset

When you’re new to an organization, you arrive charged, ideas spilling over, energy high, eyes sharp. You notice inefficiencies, you imagine possibilities. You genuinely believe things can change.

But give it a few months, and you start to hear it in the background noises.

“That’s how it’s always been.” ;  “Don’t waste time, it’ll never get approved.” ;  “Better not to push too much.”

Slowly, your spark begins to dim. Not because you lost motivation, but because the atmosphere taught you restraint. The fire is still there, but now it burns quietly contained by the temperature of the room.

"But Spark Waits for Oxygen"

That’s the unseen power of the people around you. Their beliefs become your ceiling.

Try sharing your idea with your colleagues, the doers will spot the gaps and help you shape it better, while the doubters will only list a hundred reasons why it might fail.

1. The Quiet Influence We Don’t Notice

Most of us think we choose our friends, colleagues, and companions consciously. But over time, it’s the reverse , they start choosing the version of us that shows up.

The people around you arn't neutral. They’re constant signals, telling your mind what’s normal, what’s possible, what’s “too much.”

If you spend your days with people who always see the problem first, you’ll start seeing through the same lens. Their disbelief becomes your default. It’s not that you stop dreaming — you just quietly stop believing those dreams can happen here, now, with you.

2. When Negativity Becomes Contagious

I once saw a team full of bright people lose their spark. Every meeting turned into a therapy session for why things couldn’t work. “Management won’t allow it,” “the system’s broken,” “it’s not worth trying.”

No one meant harm, they were just tired. But slowly, that exhaustion became culture. Even the most optimistic ones started holding back, shrinking their ideas, adjusting their hopes.

That’s what happens when your environment rewards safety over effort. You start mirroring the mood of the room. You start to blend in.

Until eventually, fitting in feels safer than standing out.

3. The Flip Side: The Power of Belief in Motion

Now, imagine the opposite, spending time with people who are in motion, learning, trying, failing, but still showing up.

Their presence rewires you. You stop fearing mistakes because you see others recover from them. You stop making excuses because no one around you buys them. You start believing that progress isn’t luck, it’s practice.

There’s something deeply grounding about being in a space where people talk about building rather than blaming. Their energy doesn’t push you; it pulls you forward.

4. Your Circle Becomes Your Atmosphere

Athletes train together not just to compete, but to share rhythm. Artists form collectives because creation needs echo. Entrepreneurs meet in small groups because belief multiplies in company.

  • Your circle defines your emotional weather.
  • Spend a week with doers, and action becomes instinct.
  • Spend a month with doubters, and hesitation becomes habit.

It’s not about cutting people off or labeling anyone “toxic.” It’s about noticing what being around someone does to you, how they tilt your mood, your focus, your belief.

5. The Test: How You Feel After

After spending time with someone, ask yourself:

  • Do I feel heavier or lighter?
  • Do my ideas feel possible or pointless?
  • Do I leave that conversation wanting to act or wanting to avoid?

Those answers tell you everything about the influence in play.

6. Choose Growth, Quietly

You don’t need a dramatic breakup with your old circle. Just start spending more time in places where growth is natural and ambition is normal. Let that energy recalibrate you.

Because over time, you will become fluent in the emotional language of your company. And when that language is built on belief, curiosity, and effort — you start to remember who you were meant to be all along.

In the right company, even quiet sparks turn into light.

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